There She Goes…
There she goes, again.
Y2K didn’t exactly go very well for me. Over the span of 12 months, I lost 5% of the hearing in my left ear, 2 jobs, a grandmother, and a fiancée.
Yeah, needless to say, the new millennium was not my finest hour.
However, I was lucky in that I had a couple of friends to see me through. One in particular, Malia, is celebrating a birthday today. She and The Farm Boy helped me pick up the pieces of my fractured soul and start feeling human again.
She claims we first met while I was recovering from my ear surgery, but I don’t remember meeting her until I was fully ensconced within the 96-Hour Clause. To quote, uh, myself:
"Whenever you break up with someone, you evoke the Clause. Think of it as…temporary insanity. You can’t be held responsible for anything you say or do during that time. And everything starts to get better afterwards."
You see, my first memories of this girl are of throwing a softball bat at her head. Hey! Don’t look at me in tone of voice. It slipped. It did. Really.
I can only imagine what she must have been thinking. Here was this guy with cheesy N-Sync-esque blonde highlights hurling a large, heavy object at her. Lucky for me, she didn’t take offense. Actually, it just seemed to bond us quite early on. Had I only known…
Malia (much like the Apocalypse Queen, Lady Steph, and JJ) is of that rare species who can look right through my defensive shields and see the real me I try to keep hidden from the world at large. I guess she liked what she saw, because she decided to stick around. If she hadn’t, I shudder to think where I’d be right now.
Many a summer night were spent on the curb outside a restaurant or movie theater or RedRoc’s house, just talking and listening. Of endless discussions of fate and God and the human condition. Of worthiness and esteem and all the little things that keep us going day in and day out.
We hid in plain sight as members of a youth group Human Scavenger Hunt, shot a trailer for a movie that didn’t exist, and stared in a Britney Spears video. We hung out in Jerry McGuire’s kitchen and jumped off the roof of the Heights Baptist Church. We danced in the fountain from the Friends opening credits, and earned our own table at IHOP.
She tried to convert me in the ways of coffee and I taught her to flip a guy three times her size over her shoulder. She abandoned me one night with a person she knew I shouldn’t have been with, and I helped her write the script for a "casual" phone call that ended just as badly.
I helped her move four times in three months, ragged her about her inability to pronounce simple words like "Sprite" and "Bagel," and marveled at her idea of proper fiber intake ("Eat the tree!!") She and I christened Eve with a meteor shower and gave Speedy a run for his money at the UTD track. We made declarations at a pool party once and suffered the consequences as they both came true. She has kept me entertained with stories from her past ("Let me in! Let me in! Let me out! Let me out!") and she has a very nice shoe.
I’ve had to track down movies on VHS (from Canada, no less) because she was too proud to buy a DVD player, have supplied canned food items in lieu of free-weights for her to curl, and got her and her boy in to see Episode 2 with the cast and crew, as well as that coveted Boba Fett autograph.
She sat on my couch and did laundry with Blondie, watching (and explaining) Fight Club, while I was out on job interviews. She understands the Pep’s attraction to Bitter Apple and can quote Young Frankenstein line for line. We’ve both loved and lost, and laughed and cried, and have climbed and fallen. And, we’re still here.
She married the boy of her dreams (quite literally) a couple of years ago, and is very happy, despite not having that X-Terra just yet.
She is one of my best friends, and I will always be thankful for knowing her.
Happy Birthday, Supergirl. Just remember, no matter how old you get, I’ll always be…younger.
As will your husband, ya cradle-robber…
Love ya!
-Spidey
"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age." ~Robert Frost
Y2K didn’t exactly go very well for me. Over the span of 12 months, I lost 5% of the hearing in my left ear, 2 jobs, a grandmother, and a fiancée.
Yeah, needless to say, the new millennium was not my finest hour.
However, I was lucky in that I had a couple of friends to see me through. One in particular, Malia, is celebrating a birthday today. She and The Farm Boy helped me pick up the pieces of my fractured soul and start feeling human again.
She claims we first met while I was recovering from my ear surgery, but I don’t remember meeting her until I was fully ensconced within the 96-Hour Clause. To quote, uh, myself:
"Whenever you break up with someone, you evoke the Clause. Think of it as…temporary insanity. You can’t be held responsible for anything you say or do during that time. And everything starts to get better afterwards."
You see, my first memories of this girl are of throwing a softball bat at her head. Hey! Don’t look at me in tone of voice. It slipped. It did. Really.
I can only imagine what she must have been thinking. Here was this guy with cheesy N-Sync-esque blonde highlights hurling a large, heavy object at her. Lucky for me, she didn’t take offense. Actually, it just seemed to bond us quite early on. Had I only known…
Malia (much like the Apocalypse Queen, Lady Steph, and JJ) is of that rare species who can look right through my defensive shields and see the real me I try to keep hidden from the world at large. I guess she liked what she saw, because she decided to stick around. If she hadn’t, I shudder to think where I’d be right now.
Many a summer night were spent on the curb outside a restaurant or movie theater or RedRoc’s house, just talking and listening. Of endless discussions of fate and God and the human condition. Of worthiness and esteem and all the little things that keep us going day in and day out.
We hid in plain sight as members of a youth group Human Scavenger Hunt, shot a trailer for a movie that didn’t exist, and stared in a Britney Spears video. We hung out in Jerry McGuire’s kitchen and jumped off the roof of the Heights Baptist Church. We danced in the fountain from the Friends opening credits, and earned our own table at IHOP.
She tried to convert me in the ways of coffee and I taught her to flip a guy three times her size over her shoulder. She abandoned me one night with a person she knew I shouldn’t have been with, and I helped her write the script for a "casual" phone call that ended just as badly.
I helped her move four times in three months, ragged her about her inability to pronounce simple words like "Sprite" and "Bagel," and marveled at her idea of proper fiber intake ("Eat the tree!!") She and I christened Eve with a meteor shower and gave Speedy a run for his money at the UTD track. We made declarations at a pool party once and suffered the consequences as they both came true. She has kept me entertained with stories from her past ("Let me in! Let me in! Let me out! Let me out!") and she has a very nice shoe.
I’ve had to track down movies on VHS (from Canada, no less) because she was too proud to buy a DVD player, have supplied canned food items in lieu of free-weights for her to curl, and got her and her boy in to see Episode 2 with the cast and crew, as well as that coveted Boba Fett autograph.
She sat on my couch and did laundry with Blondie, watching (and explaining) Fight Club, while I was out on job interviews. She understands the Pep’s attraction to Bitter Apple and can quote Young Frankenstein line for line. We’ve both loved and lost, and laughed and cried, and have climbed and fallen. And, we’re still here.
She married the boy of her dreams (quite literally) a couple of years ago, and is very happy, despite not having that X-Terra just yet.
She is one of my best friends, and I will always be thankful for knowing her.
Happy Birthday, Supergirl. Just remember, no matter how old you get, I’ll always be…younger.
As will your husband, ya cradle-robber…
Love ya!
-Spidey
"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age." ~Robert Frost
posted by Josh at
6:01 AM
4 Comments:
Dude, if you would've thrown a bat at me....well, I would've swung it back and God knows where you'd be now!! Glad your friend here, helped you over some bumpy roads in your life....
The Princess
By
Anonymous, At
8:16 AM
Yeah, well if I'd thrown a bat at you, Princess, you'd just have caught and thrown it right back at me. :)
Don't read this entry the wrong way. I've several friends who helped pull me through. And I love all of you for it.
Never fear, nothing ever gets deleted from my memory banks, so you'll just have to check back every day to see what I remember, and what I'm thankful for...
But, today is Malia's special day.
-Jos
By
Josh, At
11:49 AM
Josh- your memory is SCARY!!!!!!! Thank goodness I've already explained all those stories to my husband! =) Thanks for your birthday wishes. You've always been a good friend to me. Keep writing!
By
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5:05 PM
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Anonymous, At
8:15 AM
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