20/20 Hindsight, And Other Myths
So, Blondie and I were talking the other day about the current status of our lives, about how things rarely - if ever - turn out the way we plan them. We talked about how she and Pops regretted not pushing me to study harder when I was younger. How they were scared that I was so adamant about going to art school, that I refused to apply myself to anything else. How they feared I would rebel against them if they put their foot down.
About how they were afraid that if they didn't let me take that risk (something I'm not that good at) that I may never take another one.
And, I'm afraid that they were right. I have a hard time taking risks, or standing up for myself, or trying to live outside the boundaries that others have set up for me. I usually back down from every argument, form every accusation, so as to save face, or worse, to have people think better of me.
It's something that I'm constantly working on. That understanding that people will like me for me. Not for the idea of me. A radical concept, I know. But one that's taken a long time for me to embrace.
No worries, I'm getting there. I took the advice of a good friend this week, and I think things are going to get better. It just takes patience time. And what has an immortal, if not patience and time?
Today is unseasonably warm, and ushers in a new month. A month that brings with it a couple of birthdays and an anniversary I'd just as well not remember.
It's already the 3rd month of 2006, people. And I guess I'm a little behind on those new years resolutions. Well, that ends today. From here on out, I'm striving to push myself to work harder to live the life I want to live. To renew my enthusiasm on the spec-script. To break out the pencils and get some sketches and submissions ready for the April DCC. To be more aggressive about the things I want. And to accept the fact that I may not always get them.
Now all I need is some accountability...
Enjoy the record breaking 90 degree day, Dallas. Just don't get sick when it cools off and brings in the rain this weekend.
-Jos
"You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith." ~Mary Manin Morrissey
About how they were afraid that if they didn't let me take that risk (something I'm not that good at) that I may never take another one.
And, I'm afraid that they were right. I have a hard time taking risks, or standing up for myself, or trying to live outside the boundaries that others have set up for me. I usually back down from every argument, form every accusation, so as to save face, or worse, to have people think better of me.
It's something that I'm constantly working on. That understanding that people will like me for me. Not for the idea of me. A radical concept, I know. But one that's taken a long time for me to embrace.
No worries, I'm getting there. I took the advice of a good friend this week, and I think things are going to get better. It just takes patience time. And what has an immortal, if not patience and time?
Today is unseasonably warm, and ushers in a new month. A month that brings with it a couple of birthdays and an anniversary I'd just as well not remember.
It's already the 3rd month of 2006, people. And I guess I'm a little behind on those new years resolutions. Well, that ends today. From here on out, I'm striving to push myself to work harder to live the life I want to live. To renew my enthusiasm on the spec-script. To break out the pencils and get some sketches and submissions ready for the April DCC. To be more aggressive about the things I want. And to accept the fact that I may not always get them.
Now all I need is some accountability...
Enjoy the record breaking 90 degree day, Dallas. Just don't get sick when it cools off and brings in the rain this weekend.
-Jos
"You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith." ~Mary Manin Morrissey
posted by Josh at
8:06 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home